Dear Editor,
Kindly permit me to share my marital experience with you and your audience on this platform. If any prophet or man of God had told me that my relationship and marriage with Steve will turn out to be very sour then, I would have condemned that person as a wicked false prophet just trying to worm his way into the hearts and pockets of innocent people. Meeting Steve was one of the best things that had ever happened to me and loving him is indescribable.
We first met at a friend’s wedding reception as co-M.C. Right at the program, we saw some irresistible connection in our hearts. After six months, we got connected and tied the knot in holy matrimony after two years. We had known each other very well and we have never picked up any quarrel before. Our wedding ceremony was the talk of town and even pastors use to cite the strong union and love between us as examples in their sermons.
Two years down the lane, I realized Steve’s attitude was gradually changing. He wouldn’t talk to me but decided to be always quiet. Initially, he blamed it on his stressful new project and later it was one issue to another. And finally, it was as if he had lost touch with me as his wife. Tried as I could, I realized my husband had fallen out of love with me and it was too obvious and really disturbing.
I began to investigate to find out whether he was cheating but I couldn’t get any better information. After trying to talk it over with him, I realized all efforts proved futile and this led to these 13 things I did to restore my marriage. To the glory of God, my marriage was restored and now full of bliss that is why I wanted to share these pieces of advice with anyone who is also going through a hard time in his or her relationship or marriage.
13 Things I Did When I Realized My Husband Doesn’t Love Me Anymore
- Pray to the God of Marriage:
We are Christians and our faith abhors divorce unless otherwise it becomes a necessity for the peace of each partner. I never relented in fasting and prayers to pour my hearts to God. I knew there was something wrong and I’ve got to stand in the gap to fight it. I never joked with prayers for God to intervene. Do you believe in the power of prayers, then pause and pray before you continue believing that it will surely work.
- I loved him more than before
Though his attitudes towards me were not abuse and bodily harm, it was more of completely ignoring me; break in friendship, communication and a loss of touch. Though these translated into emotional torture, my heart told me I still love my Steve than never before.
- Hold on and fight
At the time that I was going through these, some friends advised me to walk out of the marriage since we both had no issue of a child at all in between us and it will be easier to start all over again but I preferred to makeover than to start all over again. Marriage is like travelling on the sea. You don’t jump into another ship and leave your own ship just because you have met a storm forgetting that the stormy sea hasn’t changed.
- I changed and stopped every little naughty behaviour
My dear, if you know what you want in life and who your heart yearns to be with, then drop all those naughtiness, dirty lifestyle and any other habit that may piss and push him away to draw closer to other girls.
- I kept in-laws and families out of these. No reporting to them.
I really went through a hell of time. I was married and yet living a bitter single life. I had lived in pretense and smiling to my parents and in-laws to believe we were still clicking but it was all good I kept them out of these problems. Sometimes, you don’t have to rush to them to complain; rather look out for cause of the problem and deal with it.
- Exercise Great Patience
I knew it was not time to pester him, fight him back on the least provocation and ask unnecessary questions that could mar the little peace between us. It wasn’t easy to keep my calm but I had to do so.
- The use of the power of silence
One of the greatest virtues I had to exercise during those worse times was patience and silence. It was during those times that I realized that you cannot be silent over some issues in life if you are not patient. The power of silence assisted me not pick quarrels with him.
- Acceptance and tolerance
My dear, you need a big heart to accept and tolerate some issues in life. It is not always that you have to be complaining; sometimes you have to tolerate people due to challenges they are going through and individual differences. Sometimes, you may be acting foolish just to sacrifice and save a situation.
- I use the power of sex.
Sex outside marriage is wrong but it is one of the most powerful tools to mend a broken union between married partners. How did I do it, I simply knew his secrets; what turns him on, how to look my very best and the likes.
- Don’t break the communication
I continually talk to him even when I was ignored and felt not wanted. It was more of living in a little prison but it worked at the end. At least, his own conscience pricked him sometimes that I was being treated badly.
- I was honest than never before
It wasn’t time to pay him back in his own coin. I remained more honest and truthful than never before. My yes was my yes, though sometimes, I had to compromise a little just to maintain the peace in the family.
- The little things and compliments count
Sometimes, you might be looking out for bigger things to do the magic but little things could bring back that lost memory and beauty in your marriage again. I remember, polishing his shoe for him one day when he woke up late for a meeting. I did the ironing for him and assisted him to pack his documents into his brief case. He cast a long look at me when he realized what I had done but a little pride and ego caused him to remain adamant.
- For most men, respect for them means love
Your respect is more important to men than any other thing you do. Disrespect to a man is a threat to a happy home.
I believe with God and a little application of wisdom, one could easily surmount any problem in life. This is my story; my experience.
Writer: Beatrice, Ghana
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